Stop press!!!

We’ve almost managed to tick something off our list!!  The Mr came home with a rather exciting surprise last night… A sample of a wedding invite!!! And it was beautiful, I’m quite happy to not do any more looking at invites anymore.  So we still have to decide the colour and the layout, but other than that, done!!!

And the best bit… They will be printed andassembled by one of The Mr’sclients, the fabulous Media Ace of Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, who are looking to branch out into wedding stationary, for a very reasonable (read bargain!!) price!!

So excited!!


It’s all about love.

Hello Wedding Blog!

In 4 days time, the ban which has been in place since two or three days after we got engaged will be over.  The ban on everything about our wedding – thinking about it, talking about it,planning it – even with each other – is finally almost over, and I’m equal parts nervous and excited.

On 1st March 2012, two whole months after we got engaged, I will actually be able to talk to The Mr about his thoughts/plans/aspirations for our big day.  And whilst I’ve not supposed to have been planning, organising or talking about the wedding during this time, it has been almost impossible to banish all thoughts of weddings from my head.  Hence the mixed feelings of excitement, ‘Yay, I can actually talk about it at last!!‘, and anxiety.  Anxiety because I know I have already started to think of ideas of what my dream wedding would be like, without being able to talk to him about whether that fits with what his dream wedding would be like.  Two whole months of these little ideas going around and around in my head, without being able to ask his opinion (because I’m not really supposed to be thinking about it at all, says the ban), has been really hard.  Really, REALLY hard.

I also know that The Mr is nervous about starting the planning, because he’s anxious about the whole big day altogether.  You may be surprised (especially those who know him), to hear that he doesn’t like being the centre of attention.  So those stereotyped ideas of what every woman wants her wedding to be; a day filled with childhood fairy-tales and Disney-infused pomp, are his worst nightmare.  And they’re also not what I would want either.  But because we haven’t been able to talk about it, I worry that he thinks that is what I want.  I think I know that The Mr may want to keep everything as low-key as possible.  Which I understand, and I empathise with, but is still different to what I think I want, that I still want it to be our ‘big’ day, even if it’s not a ‘big’ do.  So I already know there is going to be a fair bit of compromising.  I definitely wouldn’t say I’ve got my heart set on anything just yet, because I do really want this to be OUR day, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t started to get little bit of ideas of what I think I would like our day to be like, little things I would like to make it feel special.  And I’ll admit, I have caved at some moments and had a sneaky little whip round of some wedding blogs, and picked up a few bits of inspiration, which I really like.  I may even have the start of an idea of a theme, and colours I like..  But now that I know I can actually start talking about it soon, I’m a little bit nervous about how I’m going to say, ‘Actually, I’ve already thought that X might be quite nice like this‘, and for him not to get upset that I’ve started ‘planning’ without him.  But I’ve not set anything in stone, if The Mr doesn’t like it, then we’ll look at other ideas.  And then I get cross and think ‘But then this ban was his idea!‘ and think to myself that I shouldn’t have to not plan my own wedding just because he’s busy with work.  Sometimes I feel so angry about it, why can’t we just get on with it!  And then I actually hear myself thinking these things and realise how unbelievably selfish I’m being.  Oh, the inner turmoil!!

I’m not going to lie, I have hated not being able to start planning, and it’s make me quite angry and frustrated and even resentful at times (I know, how ridiculous, I’m resentful that the man I love has asked me to marry him, but won’t let me start planning the wedding yet.  Ugh, get over myself already!!).  Although I am often disorganised, scatty, and nearly always late for everything, golly do I love to plan, and feel like I have the element of control!  So not planning something which many people have told me will be the most important day of my life (at least, until the day we have kids) is like having an itch I’m not allowed to scratch.  The Mr even tried to distract me by telling me I had permission to start planning our summer holiday for this year, but even that wasn’t enough to stop me from feeling the frustration of not being able to start planning our wedding.  So why is it, now that the day is nearly here, I feel so nervous??  I think it might be because I’m such a perfectionist when it comes to planning, and I think a little bit of me is worried The Mr won’t take it as seriously as me, or won’t understand why the little details are so important to me.  But I don’t want to plan this wedding all by myself, I don’t want to be selfish and make it all about me, I want it to be an equal entity, something which is everything we both want it to be.  But most of all, I just want it to be ours, and to be a special celebration of our love.

And maybe that’s what I need to remember.  It’s all about love, and that’s all that really matters.